Feeling lonely on days of love

Umbrella, rain, alone, solitary, lonely, Romania

Loneliness is a feeling of isolation and disconnection that is cold and miserable, wherever you are. It can be worse at a noisy party than alone in the rain.

In these days running up to Valentine’s Day and its Romanian version Dragobete and Martisor, we are fed images of romance and love, and the whole world seems wrapped in a rosy haze of togetherness. But what about those who don’t feel the love? Who feel disconnected, isolated, and invisible?

Loneliness feels so much worse on these days when you’re supposed to be happy – especially in Romania, where the culture is so family-orientated and open-hearted. The upcoming love-fests can be agonising for those who feel …. Read more…

 

Valentine schmalentine

It’s round the corner – here’s how to have a great day, regardless.

14th February has become yet another commercial touchstone, turning winter into gold for giftshops, restaurants, florists, perfumiers, jewellers, chocolatiers – anyone who can think up a link to romance, sex, hearts and flowers, Cupid, Eros and the great search for love. Valentine’s Day… hmph.

What about those of us who won’t get a card or a bunch of roses? Who won’t get wined and dined, or be given gifts?

What about those of us who will get a card and maybe a gift and maybe go out to eat somewhere expensive… but only because we sort of have to? Because we’d be in the doodoo if we didn’t?

Next to Christmas and birthdays, Valentine’s Day is the day most likely to make us feel lonely. If we’re already lonely, it can make us feel worse than usual.

But don’t just sit there and let Cupid shoot poisoned arrows at you.

You have options! (read more…)

 

Happy New Year!

The 2008-09 Melbourne NYE fireworks, as seen f...

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Are you having a good New Year’s Eve? I’m in California this time, where we’re some of the last to reach 2013. Europe and further East is already into next year.. how does it look?

If this has been a tough year for you, I wish you joy and warmth and deep connection for the coming year.

Remember… To banish loneliness, what you need to do is this:

• Recognise that because we are one with all of life, we can never be truly alone. Humans are just one form of life on this extraordinary planet, and that connecting with any other form of life nurtures us.

• Connect. Get in touch. I mean, literally. We need to touch life and connect in ways we can really feel. You know the difference. There’s the polite touch of a formal handshake, or the pragmatic touch of a hospital worker moving a patient. The energy exchange is low and there is next to no connection. Compare the feeling of picking up your child for a hug, or being pulled close by your partner. Come to that, a welcome from your dog, or your cat, or your horse. Even the blossoming of a plant you grew from seed.

* Explore your inner world, and discover that the void you always thought was inside you was just an illusion. When you see and hear and feel the great torrent of light and energy that makes you alive, you’ll know you’re full of life, and you can let the life shine out of you. People are drawn to life and light, whether it’s sunlight or a warm smile. That’s when you begin to draw people towards you – they won’t be able to resist.

* Give, share, include. When you feel lonely, the instinct is to conserve what we can, to keep as much energy to ourselves so that we survive and stay warm. But that too is an illusion. The fabulous truth is that the more warmth, affection, kindness, enthusiasm, and love we give out, the more we have, and the more we receive.

Have a wonderful 2013 which sees you attracting everything you long for, and saying farewell to loneliness. May you be full of life!

A big hug, a light touch

The best medicine

Hugs are supposed to be great. The best hugs are great. But are we too scared to give each other proper, heartfelt hugs?

How do you like yours?

I like huggers who hug gently but completely. A hug of kindness, from top to toe, long enough for the kindness to sink in. A gift of a hug, that gives energy and kindness and doesn’t take. A hug that doesn’t hurt or strangle. A hug that leaves me tingling with life. A hug I want to repeat…

A hug should be two-way, that gives and receives at the same time.

But a return hug should be received, not taken. Do you get the difference? Receiving the love or kindness from your hugger is allowing them to give; taking  from your hugger is a bit like a vampire sucking the life out of a victim.

‘Give me a hug’ is the cry of a needy person. “Let me give you a hug” is the offer of a generous soul.

Heartfelt hugs are life-affirming, kind and loving

The best hugs feel safe and warm, gentle but firm, kind, giving, open, no-strings, head to toe, wholehearted and heart-felt. The best hugs are  life-affirming, reviving, reassuring, generous, sharing, unconditional kindness.

Who’s your favourite hugger?

Who can you hug right now?

Might As Well Be Me

Dion Burn writes on his blog Crystal Delusion succinctly and powerfully about his life. Almost every post is worth reposting here, but this one in particular asked to be reblogged:

“As long as I can’t live with myself, I will be lonely. My own company is more than tolerable, but impatience craves others, to either fill that gap between me or mask it like a tiger trap. The craving demands more effort than I am willing to put out for it. Or I’d rather just hang out with myself. I wouldn’t mind you coming over, but it will take an invitation to get me out. I have more fun in my own habitat. Lonely is not something I have to be anymore than unhappy. Easily said. Who doesn’t know that? Knowing is worth very little to the heart. The dumbest thing I did was to think when I was in love. Nothing could have confused me more thoroughly. I didn’t trust thought, but I had no instinct in love, so I couldn’t trust that, either. I don’t doubt that I was in love, though I’d never known love, but it was motivated by loneliness. I wanted to be not-alone before I wanted love. As long as I don’t love myself I’ll be looking for someone to do it for me. It might as well be me.”

via Might As Well Be Me.