Blog for mental health – no more stigma

mental health, blog for mental health, mental illness, depression, loneliness, isolation, alientation, lonely feelings, full of life, dying of loneliness, bored and lonely, stuck, friendship, connection, well, ill, suicide, suicidal, feelings, emotionsI pledge my commitment to the Blog For Mental Health 2013 Project.  I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others.  By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health.  I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.

After five family bereavements in 14 months, I had a melt-down in 2008 which had a serious impact on my business, on friendships and work relationships, on my finances and my whole way of life. It resulted in a huge change – leaving the country and starting a very different life in Europe. The peace and clarity of the mountains gave me back the ability to think, but it took years to reach the point of being able to go back into the ‘real’ world. For many reasons, I wouldn’t turn the clock back as, despite the bad bits, I have learned so much and found so much good in the process. I would only wish to undo the damage I unwillingly caused to others.

This blog is a major route to putting something back, to sharing what I’ve learned and, maybe, giving people some new options to getting out of deep ruts.

Two good ones to read:

Knocked over by a feather

A canvas of the minds


See yourself as others see you?

Peacock (Pavo cristatus), displaying his tail,...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

beauty, ugly, beautiful, ugliness, peacock, plumage, rich, colourful, lonely, loneliness, full of life, full of joy, happiness

I met a girl the other day who is, by European norms, a pretty woman of 20. She is at university, with a good career ahead of her. She’s clever, sweet, kind, lively and attractive. She’s going out with a man who is darkly jealous, feckless and mean-spirited. She knows what he’s like, and she wants to dump him, but she’s scared that no-one else will want her. She thinks she’s fat (compared to contemporaries who are skeletal). The prospect of being on the shelf, in her culture, is horrific, even at the expense of an unhappy married life.

So she defies her parents (who detest the boyfriend) and puts up with the boyfriend’s horrible behaviour because she thinks he’s the best she can expect.

She’s not alone – how many young men and woman set themselves up for years of unhappiness and loneliness in much the same way?

What is it about our society that we bring our children up to feel unlovable? Can family influence outweigh the media brainwashing? What do we need to do to stop the growth of loneliness in our families and friends?

Find your purpose in life

I listened to this fellow, Joe Nunziata, in a webinar about writing, but his bit applies to everyone, writers or not. Here’s his free ebook on the subject of finding your purpose in life, and why we’re here in the first place. Well worth a read. For if we know what we’re here to do, and where our true value lies, then all our energy, passion, enthusiasm and joy goes into that purpose, and we get fired up with more energy and passion – and how then can we be sad, lonely or listless? Click here for Joe’s download or click here to go to his website.

[Please NB I have no connection with him and am not in any kind of affiliate scheme]

A wish for the new week

Hobbes and Calvin


Everyone should have a friend who will be tigerish in protecting you; be a cool cat when you’re stressed out; be a bundle of fluff when you need a hug.

I wish you a Hobbes, whenever you need one.












New blog title, new approach

I’ve discovered that no-one likes the words ‘lonely’ and ‘loneliness’. The majority of those who feel lonely would rather die than admit it (and sometimes they do). Some are even too scared of the idea that they deny it vigorously.

Although I’m getting some brilliant comments and wonderful people following, I’d love as many people as possible to read the blog and benefit from it; the obvious thing is to change its name to something positive and attractive.

I was listening to Bill Harris explaining the way we think about things, about the human subconscious being unable to process the negatives ‘no’, ‘not’, ‘no more’ and so on. Our minds grasp the phrase ‘no more loneliness’ but only the word ‘loneliness’ sinks in. So that’s what our minds think we want more of. Think of it this way…

There’s an elephant living in your bedroom. You find it gets in the way and makes life difficult, so you say to yourself: “I don’t want an elephant in the room any more.” You think of a lovely life without that bloody elephant making a nuisance of itself and cluttering up the room. But because you can’t imagine a negative, you have to think of the elephant in the room to be able to tell yourself that you don’t want it there. You can’t think of no elephant, can you? Your mind produces the image of an elephant. That’s how we think. We have to imagine the thing that we don’t want before we can state that we don’t want it. But there it is, in your mind’s eye, and that’s what you keep getting. Maybe you’ll get a second elephant, maybe this one will just stay there, making more mess and getting in the way.

Which is why I’ve changed the name of the blog. Loneliness means different things to each of us, but the essence of not being lonely, not being unhappy, not being depressed or apathetic or stuck, is to be full of joy, full of energy, full of zing, full of life.

You’ll see my user name has changed, too, from nomoreloneliness to Arabella FullofLife.

Hang around, there’s lots more to come.

Have a lively day!