Loneliness, whether chronic or acute, can be wrapped up in the despair that leads to thoughts of suicide. Read this powerful post and keep your eyes and ears open for the tiny clues that might alert you to family or friends’s hidden feelings. If this is you… talk to someone, please. If you feel that no-one you know cares enough to listen, talk to someone whose job it is to listen. You won’t be a burden – exactly the opposite. They’ve trained for years to be able to help you and all of us who need help from time to time, so they are completely focused, ready and more than willing. Please… pick up the phone, send an email, or walk in. Don’t fester on your own. Another perspective really helps to pull you at least part of the way out of your rut. And when you get a better all-round view, you may start to see some solutions. There will be some, but you need to be in a position to spot them. You can’t see anything when you’re in the depths where it’s dark and cold. Let someone give you a hand to reach the light and the warmth…


Misery likes company, but it’s not mutual

Loneliness, illness, sadness can all make us as self-centred as the most arrogant egotist. Watch out you don’t fall into the trap of thinking your misery is unique and fascinating…

If you’ve been unhappy for a while, or are socially isolated for whatever reason, it SO easy to bore on about your life to a friendly face. But the friendly face will probably make its excuses as soon as it can get a word in edgeways, then run screaming for the hills. I can say this with confidence because a couple of weeks ago I met a great couple – interesting, smart, funny, kind. And because I hadn’t had a conversation in English of any note for about six weeks, there was a reservoir of dammed-up chatter: their interest broke the dam and they copped for the lot. Poor things. At least I apologised afterwards, so they’re still talking to me, just. My sister told me once that she’d done much the same, after weeks of talking to no-one but the dogs and her herd of cows. Her husband was away on a long trip, and she lived on an isolated farm, so she tended to have rather one-sided conversations.

Loneliness and other bad feelings can overwhelm you so that you can’t see over the top of the rut, and everywhere you look there’s only bleakness. The trick is to keep in mind that it’s an illusion. There is a whole fascinating world out there, and if you can only drag yourself out of your rut by a few inches, you’ll see things to distract you from your ditch of depression. Get out of your head and immerse yourself in something. Anything. Watch the clouds, watch a bird or a beetle, listen to music that DOESN’T reinforce your misery. Walk beside water or through trees and observe, listen, touch.

It’s a big world and life keeps going. Each of us is a miniscule part of it, but at one with it all at the same time. You get a better perspective when you’re in a bigger context and can see further. Grab the bit of life that’s closest to you and have a lively day – just because you can.

Have you ever found yourself boring on about your miserable dull life? Or have you had to put up with someone moaning at you for ages?  What would you say to them – or yourself?