Might As Well Be Me

Dion Burn writes on his blog Crystal Delusion succinctly and powerfully about his life. Almost every post is worth reposting here, but this one in particular asked to be reblogged:

“As long as I can’t live with myself, I will be lonely. My own company is more than tolerable, but impatience craves others, to either fill that gap between me or mask it like a tiger trap. The craving demands more effort than I am willing to put out for it. Or I’d rather just hang out with myself. I wouldn’t mind you coming over, but it will take an invitation to get me out. I have more fun in my own habitat. Lonely is not something I have to be anymore than unhappy. Easily said. Who doesn’t know that? Knowing is worth very little to the heart. The dumbest thing I did was to think when I was in love. Nothing could have confused me more thoroughly. I didn’t trust thought, but I had no instinct in love, so I couldn’t trust that, either. I don’t doubt that I was in love, though I’d never known love, but it was motivated by loneliness. I wanted to be not-alone before I wanted love. As long as I don’t love myself I’ll be looking for someone to do it for me. It might as well be me.”

via Might As Well Be Me.

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2 comments on “Might As Well Be Me

  1. Jesse says:

    Brilliant—”I wanted to be not-alone before I wanted love.” Such an honest insight. Thanks for sharing this Arabella!

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