See yourself as others see you?

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beauty, ugly, beautiful, ugliness, peacock, plumage, rich, colourful, lonely, loneliness, full of life, full of joy, happiness

I met a girl the other day who is, by European norms, a pretty woman of 20. She is at university, with a good career ahead of her. She’s clever, sweet, kind, lively and attractive. She’s going out with a man who is darkly jealous, feckless and mean-spirited. She knows what he’s like, and she wants to dump him, but she’s scared that no-one else will want her. She thinks she’s fat (compared to contemporaries who are skeletal). The prospect of being on the shelf, in her culture, is horrific, even at the expense of an unhappy married life.

So she defies her parents (who detest the boyfriend) and puts up with the boyfriend’s horrible behaviour because she thinks he’s the best she can expect.

She’s not alone – how many young men and woman set themselves up for years of unhappiness and loneliness in much the same way?

What is it about our society that we bring our children up to feel unlovable? Can family influence outweigh the media brainwashing? What do we need to do to stop the growth of loneliness in our families and friends?

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3 comments on “See yourself as others see you?

  1. Jan says:

    She made it to 20 …. I was just 17 when I was so grateful to be proposed to that I was married at 19, a mother of 2 by 24, 3 by 29 and divorced at 34. Thankfully I’ve learned a lot since and have done my best to instill better self-esteem into my own children … I THINK it’s worked ;o) x

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